also, dear roommate:

a) stop stealing my headphones and blasting your obnoxious showtunes through them at 3 am. yes i can still hear glee. no it’s not helping me sleep.

b) stop eating the hummus mom sent me. i get that shit approximately once a month, and for the love of god, don’t double dip. you have every sickness the universe could have ever created.

c) don’t make easy mac then leave the remnants there for weeks at a time. you’re absolutely revolting.

d) god made hygene products, cleaning products, and laundry detergent for a reason. now use all three of those, please.

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